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A 3-piece of writing about our incredible feet and how caressing them grows us deeper into life and love and presents
At last, the practical instructions on touching each others feet.
No more excuses left- you can do it, especially YOU who’s read all three pieces.
If pleasure is so good for everything how can I have more of it?
Answer: You give what you want to get!
So, if you have never received a full body – or ‘just’ a foot massage, I highly recommend it and even urge you to gift yourself a.s.a.p. Ask around for a great and nurturing massage therapist and receive a professional treatment first. After you have felt how deliciously fantastic it is to let go and receive - just do it – create that space for somebody else!
Your curiosity has already begun to open your heart. There’s no reason for thinking that you can not pleasure your own or somebody else’s feet just with your touch. Even if you only hold that foot – that is so trustingly laying in your hands, warm it and allow your good intensions and your heart to flow out of your soft-ening palms and into their whole body – you are creating magic for both of you.
In general do not massage the feet of a person with cancer, infectious disease or fever. You might cause those processes to be exhilarated because of the stronger blood circulation inside their whole body that will occur when you kneed their feet. But this should not keep you from lovingly holding, warming and caressing there feet. During pregnancy the areas of the inner and outer ankles as well as the lower legs should not be worked on.
In some very sensitive or simply stressed people a good deep foot massage can ignite a cleansing response for the whole body. Even a little therapeutic pressure on the feet might provoke a strong reaction of their autonomic nervous system. The first sign shows up as sweaty wetness of their hands and/or feet. This is when you stop what you are doing and just hold the feet with your thumbs gentle resting on the solar plexus point in the center of the sole of their foot. Please see photo.
Hold those places still without pressure until their nervous system has relaxed again and the sweating has dried up. This is called ‘the Motorcycle Grip’ – I always imaging riding the Harley through the desert. My leaned back spacious mindset allows the person also to relax and feel safe inside again. This kind of your presence will be very helpful.
Should you keep stimulating, those people might feel anything from slight dizziness to strong dizziness, feeling hot or cold or both and all the way to vomiting and diarrhea – this is called a ‘Healing Crisis’ generated by the autonomic nervous system. Generally very good! BUT I would not suggest to anybody Giver or Receiver to slide down that road unprepared unless you are with an experienced reflexology practitioner and a deep cleansing is necessary and freeing.
My friend Aleeta’s body was cancer ridden. On my visits we would snuggle up together on the couch so I could hold and caress her swollen sore feet and her body got more comfortable. During those moments we were able to drop into deep intimacy. A place where our physical nurturing relaxed our minds enough and her and my initial fear of death softened. We both felt a sense of space, ease and deep connection in a bigger experience of life and death.
Here are some practical tips for you
Invite your Receiver – you don’t have to be shy. After all you are inviting them for a real treat. “Would you like to receive a foot rub? I just read these articles about it and I invite you to be my guest…”
Your Pleasuring Session
O. Relax – be warm and cozy – as always – the setting is important – this can be very simple with a blanket covering your sitting or reclining partner and a towel under their feet if your use oil. It feels good to be touched by clean warm hands. You can play more elaborate with a hot scented foot bath, candles and soft music, wine, bonbon and on from there.
Before you begin any kneading and when you end your session apply a few connecting strokes to the lower legs and feet.
It is healing to support the flow of life energy streaming up and down our body through the invisible Meridian System. Here you can get a good look at it:
Here is how the Meridian Stroke goes: Gently, from the knees stroke down the outside of both legs, over the outer ankles and off over the 4 outer toes. Than; stroke up from the big toes over the inner ankles and up the inner legs towards the knees. Turn and stroke down the outsides again. Do this a few times. The rhythm and flow of these easy strokes will help both of you to get here.
Now you can play on with any or all of the touch techniques below.
1. Always touch with a listening touch!
2. Trust your gut feeling – your loving touch can not do anything wrong!
3. Touch how you would like to be touched – begin lightly, and remember
your own wonderful experience or delightful fantasy with foot massage.
4. Be curious without judgment –
- Where is this foot soft, hard, tight, rough, smooth or flexible?
- How would you like to touch this area? Firm, deep, soft, light or just holding and warming it? What does it need?
- Play with fast heating rubs with the little finger side of your hand and steady slow circles with a thumb or other fingers.
- Gently uncurl those toes – holding them on the sides – lengthen them
- Where do you want to stretch and bend – expand?
5. Play with long strokes or ‘kneading dough’ stationary with big soft hands
or just with your fingers.
6. It’s never to deep, it’s only to fast…
7. Ask them to tell you how it feels. Ask them to use words at first and later
just to use sounds. Let your partner’s pleasure guide you. Mmmmmhhhhh!
By the way – this is how we can learn to communicate what we need and how during sexual play as well as in other areas of our relationship.
8. Stay within the limits of pleasure! Make it easy and simple!
9. Notice your own breathing and relaxation before theirs. We all tend to
tighten our breath and body in new or in intimate situations, [read
about that in my April 2009 Blogging Body Bliss on Breathing your
10. You can use oil [olive oil from your kitchen’s great] or massage cream or special foot balms or salt/sugar cream scrubs or nothing but love – no shocks with cold squirts or aftershocks with stains. Please warm up the lube in your palms and put a towel under.
11. Relax, exhale, this is about pleasure for both of you. When you feel your
partner’s body soften, see their face relaxing and their breathing
deepen; just let it in. This is their gift to you and lets you feel how easy
you can connect on a really nourishing level. The more you can allow
yourself to feel the pleasure the more your partner can let go and�
receive as well.
12. Keep massaging painful areas but more lightly and less pinpointed –
imagine your touch is spreading and diffusing built up tension like�
honey crystals melting in warm tea – have some and also lot’s of water.
13. Find your ever changing rhythm – enjoying your self is priority!
14. Slow down – allow!
15. End with Motorcycle Grip [under precautions] and Meridian Strokes.
You are always touching the whole body when touching feet
Some very special places on the foot
I said before that all of our body is represented in our feet. Please have a look at the map again.
Here are some places to pay special attention too.
1. The Meeting of the 3 Rivers
This point is located 4 fingers wide above the inner ankle – you can find it there where your circling thumb seems to be able to drop right into a little dent on the inner shin bone. The point is usually quiet tender and can really hurt when pressed harder. This acupuncture/acupressure point got its name in Chinese Medicine because the power lines of the liver, kidney and spleen meridian are meeting here! Do not press on it when your partner is pregnant, but do disperse its tension when she has any menstrual problems, including cramps and foul moods. This area is a wonderful place to help with balancing our whole menstrual process.
2. The Pelvic region
The spaces of the inner and outer heel represent the whole pelvic region including our sexual organs, ducts and muscles. As described above do not work here when your friend is pregnant, but do work here for all issues related to menstruation and sexuality.
The line between the inner and outer heel across the front of the ankle is representing the ovarian tubs or seminal ducts as well as the lymphatic system of the pelvic region.
All these places are often tender to pressure and can respond with whole body bliss and delight when they begin to relax through your touch and attention. This said – the area offers itself as a fantastic zone for sensual foreplay.
3. The Swim Skins
Here I mean the webs between the toes. The lymphatic drainage system for the head is represented here. So if your person/child has a cold or the likes, this area might be extremely painful. You can support the healing process when you gently stroke and pull on the skins to release their tension. GENTLY! Especially if they are running a fever.
Cleaver moms have told me how little foot rubs calm down their overwhelmed kids, balance their energy and allows them to finish the homework in peace.
the potential of the Deliciocity of Foot Massage I’d say you are:
– Creating a safe place to become present and connect and talk real
– Relaxing and reviving every inch of the body
– Easing a bad mood to shift into simple deliciocity
– Heightening the ability to experience pleasure sensuality and
sexuality; authenticity intimacy and sanity
– Creating a wonderful space for healing and growing on every level
– Helping to save the planet
Enjoy your play and the deepening of your relationship with each person you touch.
Please! Whatever you do – Stay within the limits of pleasure. Make it simple and easy.
The author doesn’t take any responsibility for any possible consequences that might occur from your thoughts and actions.
Embodiment Expert and Workshop Leader
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